My Nemisis

Somehow, likely in a drunken state, Kristin or I managed to break her camera.  Still seemed like it worked, but it made weird noises when you turned the power on, and when took pictures.  Typically, I wouldn't care about noises, and would make lame excuses for them to avoid seeking help.  In this case we needed help because all the pictures you took also happened to come out blurry.  After tracking down a service center, we learned that the camera's lense was broken and would need to be repaired.  $95 for a new lense.  Not very exciting.  After a couple days, it was repaired, and we picked it up.  This is where the story gets a little more exciting. Not much though, so don't get your hopes up too high.

On our walk home, we decided to pick up some vegetables from the market.  We grab some tomatoes and some mushrooms and start walking home when Kristin comes up with a great idea.  Get a picture of the old battle axe that hand picked the rotten plums for me.  Great idea!  We decide that I'll take the picture of Kristin standing near the woman's vegetable stand, and I'll snap her pic while she's not expecting it.  As I set up, the old woman starts moving around all over the place. I quickly snap a pic but only get a bad side profile as she walks inside with a customer and doesn't reappear.  

Could this just be a coincidence that she went inside as I was taking a picture?  Did she even notice me taking the picture? If so, is she just one of those people that doesn't want their picture taken? Maybe, just maybe, she noticed it was me and feared for her life.  I doubt this though, I'm sporting a snazzy short hair cut these days and the day she ripped me off, I had my trademark max volume poofy style.  Here's the picture I did get though.  It's not great, but don't worry, I will get a better one.

......This isn't her.  I actually wrote this blog a few months ago after I had taken the photo. However, I was playing with the settings on the camera one day, and managed to delete the photo before I could upload it and share it with the world.  I comtemplated staging another photo op, and get the same picture that I described above, but I thought it wouldn't be a genuine.  I typed the blog up at school and was planning on adding the photo once I got home, but I couldn't because it no longer existed.  I saved the blog, waiting another day to finally release it to the public.  So, today is the day.  I know it's not the side profile pic that you were hoping for but don't fret. Here's a recent photo of her, and she looks as evil as ever.

I brought up the whole rotten plum situations to a group of Korean workers that I "voluntarily talk English" with and they were stunned.  They figured she was just a grumpy old bitch who thought she could rip off a foreigner with ease. They decided to write me a little note that I could hand deliver to the old bitty the next time she tried to lure me over to get some fresh produce.  It was written in Korean, but it translated nicely to this:

"Old woman, a while ago, you sold me 5 plums for 5000 won.  All 5 plums were rotten, and I'm pissed.  I will never buy anything from you again, don't try and get me to buy anything from you again.  Leave me alone.  I have many Korean friends!"

I'm not sure why it was important to state that I have many Korean friends. Maybe having many friends is intimidating in this culture.  Perhaps she'll think I'm affiliated with some Korean mobsters, and thats the kind of friends I have lots of.  Maybe I should have just asked. 

I have yet to deliver this note.  No, not because I'm a pussy.  I'm waiting for the perfect moment.  I don't think she remembers that I'm the one she ripped off. I do have a plan though....One day, I'll be looking around the market for some fruits or veggies, and she'll see me and think she's got another great opportunity to rip a foreigner off.  But not this day because it's payback time.  I plan on looking interested in her produce, ask about some prices, look like I'm about to pull out some cash, then BAM, read this note bitch. I ain't buying nothing from you!......Never ever!

Beijing

During our Chuseok (Korea Thanksgiving) holiday, we decided to go to Beijing for 5 days.  We did a ton of stuff, such as visit the Great Wall, Tiannenman Square, Forbidden City, Temple of Heaven and Olympic Park.  These were all memorable experiences, and great fun, but there was one day in particular that stood out among the rest. 

On our second day, we decided to take a different route downtown towards Tiananmen Square and The Forbidden City.  Everything was going swell, and we ran into a couple of young Chinese men from Shanghai.  Oddly enough, they started up a conversation with us and told us a few places to check out in the area.  The invited us to walk with them to an old area of the town and we accepted the invite.  

(They're the two guys in white at the bottom of the picture)

The area was ancient, but had been rebuilt for the Olympics and was packed with tourists and Chinese as well.  We snapped a few pictures and continued on with our new friends.  Next, they showed us around an old neighborhood known as Hutongs.  These were really old, and looked really decrepid, but were actually homes of wealthy, and were in the process of being demolished to make way for new high rises.  It was interesting, but nothing spectacular.  At this point we had been walking for a couple hours, and my hips were getting sore.  This isn't a good thing at my age, I can only imagine the state I'll be in when I hit 60.  Luckily, one of the guys asks if we'd like to stop for a drink of tea.  Feeling like it was the cultural thing to do and the fact that I felt like I needed a hip replacement, I accepted.  This move would cost me in more ways then one.  

We step into a small one room tea house only big enough for one table and a few chairs.  This seemed pretty odd, seeing that you can't do great business if your building can only hold a couple people.  We proceeded to drink about 5 different types of tea, and had to do so in a traditional chinese manner, where you have to finish in three sips.  Sounds scary, considering its hot tea, but they were only small glasses about the size of a large shot glass.  Anyways, Kristin and I felt compelled to pay for the tea ceremony for everyone since the two guys were nice enough to be our tour guides for the morning.  Sure enough, this had to be the most expensive tea house in all of China.  I was told that China was cheap and couldn't picture this run down looking tea house as being all that expensive, but sure enough, it cost one hundred fucking dollars.  $100 for tea, and not even a lot of it.  The tea was great, I'll give them that, but it wasn't that great.  The two guys decide to buy us a box of tea from the shop as gift for us. That reduced my anger towards the situation a little.  On top of all this, we weren't even allowed to take pictures inside the shop because they had a Buddha there or something along those lines.  

(I don't think anyone in the world could have expected that this hole in the wall could cost you $100 for tea)

We continue on our journey and I'm beginning to wonder whether these guys had conned us into going to this specific tea shop.  Kristin is feeling the same way, and were wondering how we can lose them, because we can't afford to stick around them all day at this rate.  Luckily, the actually told us they were going somewhere else and we were able to get away.  Great news, but unfortunately its only the beginning of what ended up being a pretty shitty day.

At this point, its around 1pm and were starting to feel the need for some food.  Were in the middle of Tiannanmen Square and assume that in the largest square in the world there would be somewhere to grab a bite, but theres not. We head downtown and got a nice little rice and noodle meal with surprisingly no problems.  We head back towards  The Forbidden City and decide to check it out.  Theres three gates, and we take the first one.  I had heard that this place was always packed with tourists, and yet there was no line.  We get inside, and we dont really see too much other than some big red walls and a park.  Were starting to realize that we probably took the wrong entrance, and this wasn't really where we were intending to go.  Upset about how the day is going, we take a little rest on a bench and relax.  

Before I could even get comfortable, a old man comes over asking if we want a rickshaw ride. No I don't want a damn rickshaw ride, give me a break.  He begins giving me prices anyways, even with me saying no thanks, and finally he gets the price fairly low and we decide to give it a go.  He says its about $20 for a half hour ride.  He points to his watch, and shows us the current time.  Seems like hes being honest.  We follow him for nearly 10 minutes to his rickshaw, and have now wasted a third of our time.  Not so honest.  We hop on his rickshaw, which was pretty pimp.  He shows us around some old neighborhoods, takes our picture a few times, and hes starting to seem like a good guy again.  Then, he sees a policecar ahead, whips the rickshaw around and starts pedalling as fast as he can the other way.  Great, nothing I want more than to be chased by cops in China on the back of a rickshaw.  I don't care how long this man has been doing this, but he can't out run the cops on his bike.  Sure he had some great calves, but he sure as fuck wasn't Lance Armstrong. Lucky for us, the cops didn't chase us.  After the half hour is up, our driver continues driving around.  I ask him when he will bring us back to The Forbidden City, and all of a sudden he can't understand me.  He was speaking decent English throughout the ride, but once I asked questions about it being over, he no longer knew any English.  Pretty sketchy, so we decide to bail.  We stayed about an extra 5 minutes, so I had to pay extra.  

(We look so happy don't we.  This was before the cops and the "I don't understand" routine)

We had to find our own way out of this old maze of a neighborhood on foot and then back to The Forbidden City.  This took longer than expected, as it didn't seem like we had went that far.  Perhaps old Chinese Lance travelled pretty far in his attempt to out run the local authorities.  Finally we made it back to where we had started.  We looked at a map and realized that we had in fact not made it into the The Forbidden City, but just a small park on the outside of it.  After some more walking, we finally make it there at 430pm. Great.  No, not great, sure enough more shit to upset me.  The ticket office closed at 415 and the City closes at 5.  So, as I stand there looking up at the giant red walls of this great chinese palace, all I can do is shake as I hold in the rage.  Kristin takes a lovely picture though.  Luckily it's from a distance and you can't see my veins bubbling from the fire burning inside me.

And this isn't even the end of the disappointment to the day.  Next, we continue to a small lake beside this area thats suppose to have row boats.  Perhaps a little rowing will ease my tension.  Maybe it would have, but I'll never know, because they just happened to close too.

I feel as though my day was doomed from the beginning.  My fate was set in motion the moment I chose to take a different route downtown where I'd meet those con artist tea guys from Shanghai, they'd drop me off at Tiannenmen Square knowing there was no food there.  I'd have to walk to Wangfuxing to find some food.  I'd be a stupid tourist and enter the wrong entrance to The Forbidden City.  I'd be fooled into thinking that I'd gained some bargaining abilities and got myself a great deal on a rickshaw ride and would be late for the entrance for the City and the paddle boats.  Just a perfect day of siteseeing.  

.....Beijing was really cool though, and the other 4 days we were there were amazing.