Using the Dumptruck

Not that anyone probably cares whether or not the kids have to pay for the summer camps, but it turns out that they actually have to. Apparently its a pretty small fee, and much cheaper than the private academies.  

I've got one day of classes left with the summer camp.  Normally I would be upset, because the summer camp has been a lot more fun than the regular classes, and I get to go home early.  This week though, I have a few shit disturbers, and Im not really in the mood for it.  They're in grade 6, and think they are way too cool to be in school.  The first day of classes, they said they had to leave 20 minutes early (around 11:45 am) because they had to go to an academy.  I thought it seemed a little suspicious, but my co-teacher said alright, and we let them go.  After they left, one of the girls in class told me that they didn't go to any academies.  My instincts were right!  I went outside to play baseball with a few of the kids after I finished work and who do I see out there, but the two little jerks who left early (around 1pm).  They're outside kicking a soccer ball around.  They started to run, but then came back because they wanted to play baseball with us.  If your going to skip school, its probably not a good idea to sit in the school yard after you leave.  I called them out on it. "No, no, no, we go Tae Kwon Do, chin cha (Korean version of "really").  Sounded like a crock of shit to me.

The next day, they're loud and obnoxious in class, and while everyone else is working on a group project together, they were going around bothering.  At one point, a girl got up to get some markers, and the two boys went and sat in her chair.  She asked them to move, but they just laughed at her.  I went over and asked them to move and they said no. I gave them to the count of  five to move, or I'd move them myself.  Sure enough they didn't move, and I implemented Brian Mann's dumptruck maneuver .The dumptruck involves lifting the back of the chair up, so the kids slide out like a dump truck.  They fell on the ground harmlessly and moved back to their tables. Problem solved.  Well the problem was just postponed for 10 minutes, when they decided they would try the same thing with another student.  I thought about taking a different approach to it this time, embarrassment.  The two boys won't go anywhere's without each other, and in this instance, one was sitting on the others lap in a chair.  I asked one of the boys if him and his girlfriend would please get out of the chair because your slowing down everyone else.  After a laugh from the rest of the class, I thought I had won, but they didn't budge.  Plan B...."Get outta the chair or your getting the dumptruck and its not going to be a nice landing". They give a little chuckle, I whip the chair out from under them, they have both hit the floor hard and after laying around for a few minutes on the floor, finally go back to their chairs and shut up for the rest of the day.  Likely your thinking I'm a cruel bastard, but it wasn't as bad as it sounds.  Were in a Grade 3 classroom, and the chairs are tiny, maybe a foot from the seat to the floor, so they were fine. I promise.

Both boys are very weak in English, and after asking for some translation from the other students, they come up to me and drop what they think is a bomb on me. 
"Teacher John, we tell someone". 
"What are you going to tell them?"
"You take chair, we fall"
"Who's chair?"
"Ummm, Yoo Jin's", pointing at the girl who's chair they were sitting in.
"Yes, Yoo Jin's chair, not your chair. So, you tell someone I took Yoo Jin's chair. Tonight I'll tell your mom about the chair too".  They quietly go back to their chairs and keep quiet.

Game over, I finally win.  No little brat wants his Oma (Korean Mom) to find out that hes been a little shit at school.  I never actually called the parents, obviously my Korean couldn't get me through a lengthy conversation.  Since then, they haven't been perfect, but things have been much better, but I'll certainly be happy to not be with them for 3 hours a day once all the students return next week.

School Pet

Many areas in Korea are fairly dirty, espcially Suwon, where I'm living.  I've actually been told that Suwon is the dirtiest city in all of Korea.  Quite an honor.  Despite there being areas that look like no one has cleaned in 50 years, heaps of garbage around, or lovely old women hocking loogies, you don't see too many rodents.  Actually, I hadn't seen any rodents.  I thought I saw one when I was living in Yeongtong before, but that may have just been a cat.  I'll never know.  

One morning as I was entering school, I noticed a small animal running up the stairs ahead of me, and then it turned and began running down the second floor hallway.  I couldn't really see what it was, but it was pretty big, and had a long tail.  So, I assumed it was a rat.  I work on the third floor, and I think that rats are utterly disgusting, so I ran up the rest of the steps pretty quick and went to my classroom, closing the door behind me.  Our school usually keeps some of the doors on the ground floor open.  After a few days of not seeing the rat, I thought he probably ran outside to play with some of his rat friends and leave me alone.  Wrong.  I was eating lunch one day with the other teachers, of whom none really speak english, and who do I see but that filthy old rat again, running through the teachers lounge.  Before I could point him out to the other teachers, he was gone out the door.  I didn't tell the other teachers about it, not because I dont think they can handle the news that our beloved school has a rat, but because it would probably be pretty hard to explain and I didn't feel like putting in the effort.  

It's been a week since I saw him. My orignal thought about him running out of the school on his on will, doesn't seem very likely.  It's clear that a rat would have a very small brain, but I think that he would be able to realize that our school, being air conditioned would provide him with a better home than the hot, humid, and smoggy outdoor air. It's almost a guarentee that I'll see him again.

Exploding TV's

Summer camp is running smoothly for the most part, and I've only got one week left until we start regular classes.  As can be expected with most things I'm involved with, they don't usually turn out as well as expected.  Surprisingly though, I don't often get blamed for things that go wrong.

Instead of using a projector screen like in Canada at schools, the classrooms have big screen projection TV's (well the English classrooms do) and LCD and Plasma Flat Screens (all the other classrooms).  My first week of classes, on the third day, in the middle of a lesson using the TV, it just shut off.  I figured I somehow did it, so I attempted to turn it back on numerous times, to no avail.  The majority of my lesson invloves using multimedia materials such as videos, powerpoints, etc. so I wasn't too thrilled about this.  However, due to my amazing problem solving skills, I gave the kids huge word searches with about 25 words to find.  That managed to hold me over, until maintenance was able to get another TV installed in my class.  A big screen projection TV.  Two days later, while in the middle of a lesson again.  I hear what sounds like firecrackers.  I nearly crap my pants, and have a little rage build up inside of me, thinking its some little jerk trying to be funny.  I turn around and realize its the TV making the noise.  Before I can even shut it off, it flashes a couple of times, then goes black.  It starts chirping like a cricket, but the screen is black. I try to shut it off but that won't work. The light is on indicating power, but it won't work.  The chirping continues, and is driving everyone nuts, so I save the day by doing what any hero would do. I unplug the TV from the wall.  You can't really expect to have two major set backs involving TV's in the run of a week so I dont have any emergency TV breakdown word search's left.  Luckily its the last day, so we just play some games and eat junk food for the remainder of class.  Everyone was happy because everybody loves junk food and games, including me.

We start up again with the camp a couple weeks later, and have to move to another classroom because of the TV problem.  The school believes its because of wiring in the classroom.  I accept it, but I certainly do anything to break them. Everything went smoothly for the first day, and then the second day, that god awful firecracker noise starts up again.  I know exactly whats happening, and sure enough, the damn TV is broke again.  I had the same word search on hand so I whipped these out to keep them occupied while I tried to figure out what the hell to do now.  My co-teacher leaves, and returns with the principal, vice principal, maintenence, and a bunch of other people who figured they could repair this TV. They all try to work there stuff.  None of them had any luck, and there were no more of these projection TV's remaining, so I moved to another room.  The staff is convinced now that the TV's I was using were old, so thats why they all broke. Good reasoning, because TV's definetely have an expiry date, and once they pass this date, firecrackers explode on the inside of them, and they never work again. Pretty logical.

I moved to a Korean home teacher's room, equipped with a beautiful new LG LCD TV.  Since then, everything has went smoothly.  I'm certain that if the firecrackers start going off in this TV, they'll have to conclude that I am cursed, and I'll never be allowed to use the TV's in the school again.  On a good note though, my English rooms will need to get new TV's to replace the ones that have "expired", and I'm sure I'll get one of these nice LG LCD's.

Summer Camp

I'm currently running an English Camp at my school.  It has nothing to do with camping, just English classes that run during the Korean summer holidays.  I had the luck of only having to do it for 3 weeks. Kristin gets to do it for 4, but others that we know have not had to do the camp at all or just done one week of it. 

Koreans think highly of education.  In addition to attending public school for 5 or 6 days a week, parents pay a lot of money, and enrole their children in various private acadamies that include English, Math, Science, Music and even Art.  Many students don't get home until around 9pm, and then have to work on homework all night.  In my opinion, it's an awful way to spend your childhood.  However, their society believes that since they don't have any natural resources, they need to educate themselves to the fullest.  I believe that a lot of them actually just send their children to these academies to either keep up with the Jones' or to get the children off their hands. I'm sure there's not much need to send your kids to Math and Science acamadies during elementary school.  Your not exactly working on Calculus or Quantum Physics when your 10.

Back to discussing summer camp.  Many public schools offer English summer and winter camps.  They run for much of the duration of the vacation period.  Thus, many students actually have to go to school during their summer and winter vacations.  It is the choice of the students and parents whether or not to attend these camps.  Since they are free, I'm sure that the parents view this as quite the opportunity for free time during the summer break. Well, since I'm the native English speaker at my school, that also means that, with the exception of about a week during both vacation periods, I get the priveledge of working.  Quite a bit different from Canadian schools. Although it sounds like I'm just rambling on end about having to work all year round like most others in the world, there are some bright points about the summer camps.  I was allowed to make my own lessons, and not have to follow an incredibly boring curriculum which I do the remainder of the year.  I'm also allowed to leave early many of the days, rather then sit in my office and do "Internet Research".  Furthermore, the other Korean teachers, of which there are generally only two in the school during the vacation period because they don't work the summer camps (they get around 35-40 days off per period), will always buy me lunch.  Everyday I offer to pay, but they will never let me.  Even if I try and say that I'll buy the meal for everyone, they tell me no.  I was going to continue about the summer camps and talk about rodents and exploding TVs but that'll have to wait because I'm hungry and was bored of this meaningless post long ago.

The Day I Left the Nut House

Way back in March, I was forced into an early resignation from my job at ILS.  I was working a lot of overtime, and not getting paid for it.  I checked out my contract, which stated that any time I spend at the school, whether it's for classroom teaching, marking, administrative, it all counted toward the calculation of hours worked.  The only thing that didn't was one hour of preparation daily.  The contract stated that if I worked more that 30 hours a week, that I would be paid overtime.  At the time I had read this, I was working about 10 hours a week overtime, 40 hours a month, but wasn't seeing a nickel for that extra work.

The director at the school was quite crazy, as was her husband, the owner.  I brought up my situation with them, and they told me that I had misinterpreted the contract.  Once I brought the contract out, with the Employee Duties and Hours Worked section highlighted, they were blown away.  They informed me that they had not read the contract yet (5 months into my employment) and they would get back to me later.  I also pointed out in the contract, that since Kristin and I are a couple, that we are entitled to a two bedroom apartment, and that at no time should two people share a bachelor apartment.  I dont have any problems with living with Kristin, but a bachelor apartment isn't meant for two people. 

The next day, they get back to me.  First they ask which matter I think is most important.  Obviously, I stated that the overtime was of more importance than the apartment. At this point, I'm thinking I have a chance of getting one or the other.  Just when you think things are starting to look much brighter, I get their cliche phrase.... I'm sorry, but you don't understand the contract, it's your misinterpretation. Clearly, since I am a native english speaker, and both my director and her husband, who need a translator for every discussion we have since they're english is so weak, I am the one that doesn't understand the English version of the contract. So, we have some words, and I'm told that there is no way that they will pay me for the overtime, because that is just asking too much out of them.  After discussing the matter with my recruiter, he is informed that the school is planning on firing both Kristin and I, because we are asking for way too much from the school. We would have to leave within a couple of weeks.

I decide I'll ask the director about their plans to fire us, and am told that they have no such plans. However, I get an ultimatum.  I get the choice to stay at the school, where nothing will change.  I will still work 9-7, not receive any overtime, and can't discuss the matter any further, OR, I can quit.  Kristin and I talk about this, not for long though. We've hated the school for quite some time, so we decided that we would leave the school.  We were hoping on being able to leave within two weeks because obviously there would be an incredible amount of tension in the air having to work around these lunatics.  Just as we get our hopes up though, we are told that we must stay at the school for another two months while they search for replacement teachers.  If we don't stay for that long, they will not release us from our work visa, and we will be unable to legally work anywhere else in Korea.  Greasy, just greasy. We stick around for the next two months. Meanwhile, they beg us to stay for another few weeks because they're having difficulty finding new workers.  Oh, it was just so sad. Really broke my heart.  Since I'm such an emotional guy, and had so much sympathy for the school, I agreed to help them out...Hahahahah, No, I'm full of shit, I wouldn't do that. We left, and never returned.

We left near the end of March, and since that time, our replacements at the school arrived, decided within two weeks of working there that the school was ass backwards, and there was something clearly wrong with the directors head, so they decided to quit as well.  They had to stay at the school for two months, and then were informed that they wouldn't get released from their visa.  Within a year of opening the school, I believe there have been 6 foreign teachers leave, and probably about 10 or more Korean teachers leave.  The school only employs 5 to 6 teachers at a time.  With an employee turnover  around 300%, they rival the likes of McDonalds.  Probably not the company you want to mimic though if your running a school.

A Friendly Old Woman

Yes, if your reading this, your probably in a complete state of shock since this is the first post I've made in ages.  But, times are changing, and I have to spend 4 days at school this week with absolutely nothing to do, so I'll attempt to make a few posts.

Last Friday, I get off work early at 230, and figure I'll try to be productive for the remainder of the day.  As soon as I get out of the school, I realize that I should probably just go straight home because its about 36 degrees and humid as all hell, but I continue on with my plans.  First I stop at the bank, pay some bills, yadda yadda yadda.  Then, I visit the local market beside my apartment. I first stop at a little supermarket and pick up some lettuce ($1 for a big bag), cherry tomatoes ($1.50 for big bag), red and yellow peppers ($3) and go back outside to the outdoor market.  I see a big bowl of peaches, maybe about 15 of them ($5) and am starting to think that I'm doing pretty good shopping.  Im just about to head home, when I notice an old woman, maybe 60-80, hard to tell because most people in Korea look much younger than they really are.  She could have been 100 for all I know.  She has a bunch of giant plums, so I decide to get $5 worth.  Looking like a kind lady, she starts checking the plums, feeling them first and then putting them into a bag for me.  She continues until she has 5 plums in the bag.  I'm kind of shocked that I've only been able to get 5 plums for this price, but I figure that shes been nice enough to me by inspecting the plums first and continue home.

Around 10, Kristin decides maybe she'll have one of these plums. To my amazement, she tells me that one of the plums happens to be rotten. Thats ok, I guess the old woman isn't perfect. Then, after a closer inspection of the rest of the plums, it became apparent that this old woman is far from friendly.  She's sold me 5 rotten plums.  She went through the trouble of searching through her large basket to specifically find me 5 rotten plums.  She may as well of just took my money, yelled and me in Korean, and not given me anything at all.  It's Monday now, and I'm still quite bitter about the whole matter. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but one of these days, that woman is going to get some payback from me.